ringworm!!!! no not me....ummm...it's just a damn word...pssh!

is this not the epiphany of boredom?
i sat and watched an entire episode of "who wants to be a millionaire".
i feel like i should be in a trailer...
no, that's mean...oh well.
i hate that show and regis too.
what an idiot.
him and his fake laugh.
creepy...

OKAY, new topic...please...hmmm....i'll tell a story...

there once was this little man named hal the cherrypicker.
and as long as hal could remember, he had wanted to be the star of his own broadway musical, Le Pomme de Terre et Le Chat.
not that he was unhappy as a cherrypicker,
it was a wonderful job for hal and he found it very rewarding...
he just couldn't let go of this childhood dream of his.
but anytime he brought it up, people would tell him that he was crazy,
so he put it on the proverbial backburner.
at night, which was really his only spare time,
hal would write lyrics and complex musical scores for Le Pomme de Terre,
but the next morning he would crumple them up and throw them out.
he lived out his life as well he could and eventually convinced himself he was happy.
he was well known for being a great cherrypicker
and he even performed in the towns yearly musical.
he had all but forgotten his dream, when one day a meteorite fell from the heavens and squashed hal like a bug.

the moral of this sad and equally pathetic story is: reach for the stars before they reach for you...taadaaa!

Mood: weird
Music:Cake-i will survive!!!

suuuunny day, sweeeepin' the clllooouuds away, ooonn my way to where the aaaaiiir iiiss sweeeett....

well!
long time, no see...
or no write...
umm, nevermind...
hmmm.

i am in a really weird mood right now.
i took a couple of noDoze a bit ago and i'm just at the height of it.
i don't know why i took 'em though,
i got about 12 hours of sleep yesterday...
okay, maybe i do know why i took 'em...
but now i wish i hadn't.
now i just feel like a dog chasing it's tail, but i'm sitting somewhat still (a bit fidgety though...you understand).
i kinda feel like when i was on ritalin, all wired and blinky.
i guess you could say the meds didn't work for me...
all it did was make me blink every second and a half.
and piss my mother off.
i'd be sitting at the table doing my homework and all of a sudden, she'd yell, "STOP IT!".
except, i had no idea what she was talking about because i didn't notice it at first, so i just thought she was schizophrenic.
Ha ha...
ahh...
good times...
okay maybe not.

it's kind of funny now though...
blink blink blink...
AAAHHHH!!

maybe tea will help...
OH NO...
i'm all out of tea again!
i forgot.
i got my hopes all up, just to have them dashed down again!
what a horrid, evil world we live in.
okay...perhaps that's overreacting a bit...
blink blink blink...
then again maybe not!

warm milk might work...ichk...no.
sleep? yeah right!
oh OH, OOOHHH! deeterlooloo's calming pill...
don't worry, it's natura...and legall...
that'll calm my little self down...
okay i'm gonna go take this and watch cartoons for a while...
see ya after Superfriends.

Mood:blink blink blinky
Music:bjork-homogenic

Wow...anger...

That last entry sounds really bitter...
i feel better now though...
emotional cleansing.
i've always hated journals, i never wrote in them.
i guess maybe it was because they were always given to me by people who said it would help me, and then they'd check up on the progress.
it made it feel like an assignment.
that's not good.
oh well, i'm gonna go make meself a cup of tea now...
soup said so.

Mood: mellow
Music:sublime-40oz. to freedom

Fuck prozac for not working
Fuck people who say, "snap out of it" 'cause they don't know shit and shouldn't give useless advice
Fuck those who say, "have you accepted Christ into your heart?" like it'll help
Fuck people who ast like they care to get what they want, if you don't care, say so
Fuck manipulators, although i am one
Fuck "aren't you clever..."
Fuck people who ask the person i'm with what's wrong with me
Fuck those who feel the need to baby-talk at me
Fuck over-achievers who give advice
Fuck doctors who base their knowledge on books and ignore what i'm saying
Fuck sincere little people who wanna help
Fuck those who "understand"
Fuck critics
Fuck distant/distancing friends
Fuck 'em all and so much more...
But then again, perhaps that would send the wrong message...
oh fuck me.

Mood: disappointed
Music: Miles Davis-Kind of Blue and Rancid-Out come the wolvies...

greetings and welcome to my head. don't stray too far, i'm not willing to organize a search.

hi.
wow that was original...oh well...
so perhaps i should forewarn whoever may be reading this nonsense, i can't sleep.
i'm tired, but everytime i lay my head down, my mind starts a'racin'.
and so follows the words
and phrases
and partial thoughts that spawn from this...
"condition".
and i think i dented my head earlier...
okay, if in case you were wondering how it happened, i'll tell you.

if not, scroll down or do something else.

anyway, i was in the kitchen looking for a wooden spoon...
i know, i know...what story doesn't start out like this?
anyhow, but it wasn't anywhere to be found because nobody puts anything back where it goes.
So i was looking in all of these drawers and kind of leaving them open to remind me of where i had already looked.
i wasn't having any luck and was at the last drawer and was really pissed cause i have a bit of a short temper.
i was sitting on the floor rummaging through my last hope (yes, it is a bit dramatic...) when i found it.
and then, in a sort of "eureka" moment (and forgetting that the other drawers where open) i sat up really fast...
and WHAM!
(the sound, NOT the band...ichk)
the back of my skull collided with the plywood bottom of the utility drawer.
i suppose it really couldn't have done much damage.
maybe even some good...
perhaps knocked a few spare parts into place.....
i read this article about this guy who showed up one day at the emergency room with a hole in his head and a wooden dowel.
he told the doctors that he wasn't sure if his brain was still in his head, so he drilled a hole in his skull and poked around in there with the stick to see if it indeed was.
now, personally, i would have gone to a specialist if i had any doubts BEFORE i tried home surgery...
but of course that's just me.
home dentistry, maybe.
but not surgery!

anyway, perhaps i'll try to sleep again...if it doesn't work, i'll see you in fifteen.