"the crazy cat-lady down the street is talking to herself again, mommy..."

i feel displaced today. i don't really feel badly or unhappy, just not quite right. i got to school today and felt i didn't want to be there (not really anything new, i'll admit) and then i got home and felt the same way...oh bullocks! oh well, i'll dye my hair in a bit...and then...um...nothing. but hey that's enough excitement for one day...oh god, how sad. i need something or someone new...i am becoming cat lady! okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but i just changed the song on my stereo because it tripped the cat out. next time i'll just say, "too damn bad. if you don't like it, leave!"...oh no, then i'd be talking to it...i need a change or a distraction or...anyone have any suggestions?

Mood: worried
Music:rancid-sidekick and operation ivy-old friendships

i hate fast-food.
what a waste of building supplies.
the only thing i like from fast-food places is the ice.
but they look at you weird if yoo go and just order ice.
but, then again, that kinda makes it fun.
they actually argue with me, like i'm not sure of what it is that i'm ordering or that i don't know what i want.
how petty.
what a stupid topic.

i'm in an odd mood.
kinda floaty,
kinda mixed up,
kinda empty,
full of all these strange thoughts,
a little horny...
not that anyone wanted to know.
consider it a warning.
*grins and winks*
i've been talking to some people i haven't spoken to in a while...
it's really strange.

it made me really miss some and recall why i don't speak to others.
it's really crazy how time go by so fast.
i was talking to some people who i can remember playing house with and now one is getting married and one is getting divorced.
i mean, i know i'm quite a bit younger than them, but....
where the hell am i going?
i'm not sure what i'm doing in the fall let alone, like, three years from now!
oh my god!
i need to quit keeping in touch.
i talked to my cousin today though, well emailed...same there too.
my cousins who i used to play with are...grown up.
shit, man, shit...

new topic, that's gettin' me down.
i wanna say so many things,
but my mind can't organize them into any order,
so they all try to come out at once and it kinda sounds like, "sshhpplebbbfffttk" only louder.
my head is going too fast and i can't talk right...
i'm gonna go watch cartoons and try to slow my brain down a bit...

love you all muchly

ps. it spell checked "sshhpplebbbffttk--how else could yoo spell it?

Mood:wrong way through a marathon
Music:same old mixture...

you don't know me at all...

so, for the hell of it, i asked someone how they would describe me...
i guess it came up in conversation or something...
and what do i hear?
"um...morbid!"
morbid?
morbid.
why am i morbid?
i am happy.
what?
just because i find some... "darker" things amusing?
i don't get it.
i'm not really upset 'cause what do they know?
i just thought it was odd.
i wouldn't consider myself morbid...
sarcastic, yes.
facetious, hell yeah.
but nae morbid.
i don't know...
i guess it's a little too clicheic for me.
i'd like to think so anyway.
someone about a month ago said i was cold.
god, that's sad...morbid and cold.

is that how i appear to people?
should i be more cheery?
say, "hehe" more?
maybe i should just quite listening to people...
or at least talking it personally...i know better than that.
oh well, i don't really like judging people so i guess it pisses me off when people do it to me.

oh, man, i think i asked...out of curiosity, though.
but, curiosity killed the cat, right?
poor slain kitty...
why do i let people get to me?
i don't even really like people.
this just reaffirms that...

i'm done

Mood: contemplative
Music:radiohead-faithless, the boy wonder and operation ivy :)

wow.
i haven't written in so long.
not that it matters much.
but i was feeling kind of guilty thanks to someone(soosin).
so i shall write.
hmmm.
i am sooo painfully uninspired.
i need a muse.
i think the kitty is broken.
it's sitting on my desk with one eye shut, purring really loud.
why do i always have crazy pets?
my other cat is the size of a year old child and twitches for attention.
i had a turtle that only ate bologna
and a fish that kept running into the rock in it's bowl.
is this a reflection on me?
god, i hope not.

okay...new topic.
OH! senior writing assessment was yesterday.
that was terrifying.
i know i was prepared, i was beyond prepared.
i had planned what i was gonna say out in my head.
and then, i go in there and my mind went *pphhhttt*!
just like that.
i hate stuff like that.
when i write, i like to be able to write it and come back and check it later...this was tooo much pressure.
i guess it's good that it's over.
and i know i'll pass it.
it wasn't my best piece, though.
i wish we had been able to do it overnight or somethng.
oh well...it's over and i can check it off of my mental list.
oh, this topic is getting dull too.
or perhaps it's me who is dull...oh man!
this is quite distressing.
i should probably go now...
maybe i'll stumble upon something inspiring later.
until then...i don't know resume whatever you were doing.

*kisses*

Mood: apathetic
Music:radiohead-the bends...mmmm...

kitty kitty kitty....

i hate sick days.
today i showered threeee times and i still feel grimy.
that makes me sound like tile grout.
but i'm not, really!
i'm just cute little kenna-pea.
i think that if i stay in this house for one more day, i just my go completely insane.
i spent a half an hour today watching the kitten try to eat my shoolaces.
that is really sad.
i know, i was there.
why do antibiotics in pill form come so damned big?
if you're so sick that you need 'em, how do they think you're going to keep them...down?
sadists!
i tell ya.

hmm...i gotta do laundry...or perhaps i should wait for my sister to get home.
she actually like doing all that domestic stuff.
who am i to take that pleasure away from a little girl of...i think she thirteen...
oh that's bad of me...
yeah, YEAH she is i know...
hmmm, where was i going with this?
oh laundry...nope.
okay, yeah, i should...later.
i am just rambling!
oh no, this whole entry is just pointless!
a typing practice, that's about it!
oh, bugger all to hell.

oh well.
hmm...why do the carpenters have a "behind the music"?
or better yet, why am i listening to it?
why oh why didn't turn the television off?
oh no i used a preposition at the end of a sentence!
should i change it?
hell no, let it stand...hehehe...
i'm such a literary rebel!
okay, no.

okay, new matter.
i have a hole in my sweater!
well it's more like the whole sleeve.
the seam is coming undone and the sleeve is slowly detatching itself like a pissed starfish.
but sweaters don't regenerate!
they really don't.
you can leave them and come back in a week (when you remember where it is that you left it) and it's still in two completely seperate pieces...it doesn't even try.
sad really.
maybe it would be more effective to fix it rather than sit and lament about it.
i think i shall try that.

this is the most boringest entry EVER!
really, try to find a boringer one!
although...the starfish part is kinda funny...i
f you've ever seen one rip itself apart you'd know.
it's really gross, but kinda funny.
anyway, i'm gonna go take another shower...
ick...and congratulations to anyone who actually read through to this point.
i don't think i even did that.
i quit paying attention around laundry.
i guess that's quite evident though...
alright!
i'll stop now.

Mood: energetic
Music:house of pain-jump around

orville redenbacher wallpaper

i feel like shite.
i am nauseous, achy, and have chills.
everyone is walking around with t-shirts like its summer and i am shivering.

that's how i discovered the orville redenbacher wallpaper...
i was in the bathroom, soaking my hands in hot water because i was so cold that my nails had a blue-ish tinge.
i looked up and theres this little old man in the floral wallpaper.
it's quite clearly orville redenbacher.
damn him.
or perhaps if you squint it could be the colonel from M*A*S*H...
nope, it's orville.
you'd figure after five years of living in this house i would have realized it before.
then again perhaps it could be the fever.
great, i start hallucinating and i see the popcorn guy.

it kind of made me a little paranoid so i decided to go with mittens instead.
it's is surprisingly difficult to type with mitten on.
it takes way too much concentration.
i'm gonna go back to bed now.

nite all.

Mood: cold
Music:Radiohead-Kid A

Oohhh...pink!

i really don't have much to say today...
so why am i sitting here forcing meself to write?
It's a mystery...

it's 11:30 at night and i'm still in my bathyrobe because i was even motivated enough to get dressed, but i have my new pink glasses on...
what a babe am i?
i drank two bottles of gatorade today...so it wasn't a total waste!
mmmm, gatorade and almond joy.
i didn't even cook anything!
what a slug.
but hey, i got gatorade and rose-colored specs.
wow, how many times can i say gatorade?
hmm, gatorade!
there's another...

anyway, did i mention i'm still wearing my bathyrobe?
umm...yep...wow.
i have nothing new to talk about...

OH! i went to town with soosie yesterday...
that's something.
it was really cold.
so i guess i'm making up for it today.
*stokes fire*
toasty warm...:)
yesterday was fun...it would be nice if i had myself a job and money...
i had to budget so i have enough $ for next week.
oh man that's pathetic...
i should complain...
oh yeah cause that usually helps.
OH! i know what i'll do...
i'll take my gatorade and go watch ifc.
hehehe indie films with a rosy tint.
what a contradiction...
i love it.

alright, good nite.

Mood: lazy
Music:counting crows-colorblind...how sappy and gooey